Strong No More

It takes every ounce, every bit of will power;
All my determination to be strong, to not cower.

To open my eyes, to kick myself out of bed.
To battle the thoughts in my head.

It is so much pressure. It makes my blood boil.
My hands shake at the cost of being loyal.

Every breath and heartbeat is heavy and drags me down.
I carry this weight. I treat carefully so I won’t be found.  

I just go slow. It’s not the time to go quick.
I must tread carefully. I think strategically. I plot and pick.

I fear what happens when I can’t be strong anymore?
When the time comes, and will I be brave enough to walk out the door?

How can I escape? How can I break free?
How can I live true and just be me?

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